FAU Weekly Random COVID-19 Testing Revealed To Be Program To Secretly Probe Students
This past weekend, it had been revealed that the brand new FAU weekly random COVID-19 testing program was actually a tactic being used by the…
FAU High School The Only School In The County To Accept Barron Trump
As the Trump family begins to settle into their Mar-a-Lago residence, new information about their future plans continue to be discovered. The Hoot has recently…
I’m Sorry, But The FAU Pep Band Sounds Like Dying Horses
Multiple reports this afternoon have come across The Hoot tip line regarding FAU’s pep band – known for playing at every basketball game this season….
Campus Rec Set To Run In Next Presidential Election, “Dumptruck 2024”
A lot has happened at FAU this past week. Owlsley was found with 10lbs of cocaine, and his antisemitic tweets about “nipple Yamakas” resurfaced. FAU…
Snow Owl: 10lbs Of Cocaine Found In Owlsley’s Den
FAU’s problematic mascot has found himself in deep water yet again. Over the weekend, Owlsley threw a party celebrating President Joe Biden’s inauguration. “It was…
FAU President John Kelly’s Sexy Photoshoot 2021 Calendar Now 50% Off
In a move hailed as unprecedented by university presidents, John Kelly has decided to give FAU quite the treat for 2021: a professionally-shot Kelly Kalendar,…
Top Six Ways To Keep It Together During Finals Week
Finals week is particularly difficult this semester. Here are some tips to get you through it all. 1. Don’t Starting off with the obvious: just…
FAU Finally Addresses Issue: “We need to get the troops out of Vietnam now!”
Anyone that follows @FloridaAtlantic may have seen them tweet a rather cryptic message: As the FAU student body, the faculty, and us here at The…
“We Lit” Says, Governor Ron DeSantis As Florida Goes Up In Flames
Tis’ the season, and you know what that means: hot chocolate, the Polar Express, cuddles by the fireplace, and our STUPID tradition of decorating palm…
An Open Letter To The Professor Who Won’t Raise My 71 To An A
To my incredibly stubborn professor, I’m honestly not sure why you won’t just raise my grade a little bit. You announced at the beginning of…