Dorm Roach Declared Official FAU Emotional Support Animal
After a tedious initiation process, the FAU Student Accessibility Services has declared the roach you sometimes find hanging out on your kitchen floor when you’re…
10 Questions With The HPT Poltergeist
I take a sip of my sparkling water and stare at the small, red light signaling the elevator. The only way I’ve been able to…
New Studio 2 Performance More Depressing Than An Actual Mill Fire
Sunday saw the close of Studio 2’s latest production Dead Man’s Cell Phone by Sarah Ruhl. The show, about a young woman in a café…
FAU Converts Parking Garage I Elevators Into Tower Of Terror Ride For Halloween
Earlier this week, student sources reported that the Parking Garage I elevators had been transformed into a Tower of Terror-themed ride in the spirit of…
Is My Online Classmate In Love With Me, Or Are They Merely Using Proper Netiquette?
I’ve been single for most of my life, and I find that the reason I have such difficulty dating is that I can never figure…
Student Who Submitted Online Exam First Wins Nobel Peace Prize
Sources confirmed Friday that sophomore Brady Thompson, who was the first student to submit the online midterm examination for his Intro to Psychology course, has…
Student Accidentally Joins Cult Instead Of Fraternity
Sources confirmed Monday that freshman Chad Stuart joined a cult that he mistook for a fraternity. Stuart had reportedly been searching for an on-campus fraternity…
Stoner RA Busts Self For Hotboxing In His Room
Indian River Towers resident assistant Bernie Lam reportedly noticed a strange odor Friday as he left his room to perform a quick hall check. According…
Owls Care To Give Out Free Bedding To Homeless Burrowing Owls
Amidst the prolonged rainy season, Owls Care stated Wednesday that they plan to deliver free bedding to the on-campus Burrowing Owls. Due to the constant…
FAU Janitor Revealed To Be Black Market Test Bank Dealer
After being caught cheating on her Anatomy exam, freshman Clara Long reportedly emailed her professor Friday claiming that she received the test banks from an…