English Honors Society Membership Down: “No One Wants To Be An STD”
It’s that time of the year again, folks, when honors society across FAU’s campuses open admissions and try to get new entrants to pay exorbitant…
FAU Soon To Offer HTP1101, “How to Park,” As A Summer Course
Are you one of the many students who cheated on their permit test and never actually learned the rules of the road? Instead of spending…
How To Tell Which FAU Iguanas Have Human Souls Trapped Inside Them
As more students return to in-person classes on campus, a new issue is coming to light: Campus Iguanas. While we already know Green Iguanas are…
FAU Band: “We Could’ve Given A Better Halftime Show Than The Weeknd.”
Dr. Kyle Prescott and Dr. Marc Decker, director and associate director, respectively, of the FAU Marching Band, released a statement that their athletic band could’ve…
FAU Alumni Association Asks For FAU Love Stories, Receive Blackmail From Disgruntled Exes Instead
The weeks leading up to Valentine’s Day are always a bit more gloomy for single folks than normal. To add salt to the wound, The…
FAU High Schoolers Declared “Too Self-Aware”, Program To Be Cancelled
This morning it has been revealed that FAU High School has declared their students “too self-aware” and have decided to cancel the program entirely for…
Engineering Student Builds Jetpack, Injures Three
In the pre-dawn hours, atop Engineering East’s Rooftop Garden, a student begins his maiden voyage using his homemade Jetpack, named The Way. Prior to said…
FAU Weekly Random COVID-19 Testing Revealed To Be Program To Secretly Probe Students
This past weekend, it had been revealed that the brand new FAU weekly random COVID-19 testing program was actually a tactic being used by the…
FAU High School The Only School In The County To Accept Barron Trump
As the Trump family begins to settle into their Mar-a-Lago residence, new information about their future plans continue to be discovered. The Hoot has recently…
I’m Sorry, But The FAU Pep Band Sounds Like Dying Horses
Multiple reports this afternoon have come across The Hoot tip line regarding FAU’s pep band – known for playing at every basketball game this season….