Frat Bro Who Claims Boca Has No Nightlife to Return to Hometown to Play Checkers with Grandmother
FAU frat bro and campus resident Max Bailey is ready to return to his hometown of Essex, Connecticut this spring break to be reunited with…
Sorority Girl Uses PAM for Tanning Oil to Get That Golden Brown Cookie Look
With it now being Spring Break, many people are going to tan, and that includes senior Becky Gladstone of Theta Phi Alpha, who brought along…
Student Pushes On Pull Door; Forever Banished From Society
At 8:57 a.m. Friday morning, FAU junior Thomas Weatherford committed an atrocious act no man nor woman should ever commit. An act so vile, so…
Student Goes to CAPS In Search Of New Hat; Finds Self Instead
It was reported that FAU freshman Cole Fletcher entered the Counseling and Psychological Services office early Tuesday morning in search of a new hat. Fletcher…
FAU Announces New Residence Hall: Hillel All-Night Study
On Monday morning, the FAU Department of Housing and Residential Life announced that they will be turning the Hillel All-Night Study into a brand new…
Your Weekly Horoscope 2/26-3/4
The moon is dealing with some springtime allergies this week- here’s what that means for YOUR sign! Pisces (Feb 20-Mar 20) Your imaginative and sensitive…
Top Ten Professor Kinks
1. Being TOTALLY sorry for butchering your name. 2. Changing the slide right when you’re on the cusp of finishing. 3. Failing Rebecca. 4. Using…
Selfish Asshole Shook That Other Selfish Asshole Took Up Entire Four-Person Booth
Muttering under his breath and cursing out the individual in front of him, sophomore and selfish asshole Ira Jachowsky was reportedly shocked to find that…
Student Conducts 3 AM Raid On Roommate’s Mini Fridge
At 3 a.m. Monday, FAU freshman Matthew Oliver conducted a full-scale raid on his roommate’s mini fridge. Equipped with a pair of night vision goggles…
FAU Baseball Prepares For Another Great Season Nobody Will Care About
With Friday’s season opener in Boca Raton against George Washington University, FAU Baseball is finalizing their preparations for another successful season that nobody will care…