Frat Boys Waterboard New Pledges, For the Kids
“Everything we do, we do it for the kids,” said fraternity Omega Sigma Alpha President Falcon Hawkmoon as he placed a wet cloth over a…
FAU Student Uses SpaghettiOs for Interpretive Essay
On Monday morning, FAU senior Alexander Jones turned in his Aesthetics and Art Theory essay which was created exclusively with SpaghettiOs. Jones reportedly worked on…
Study: Longboarders Enjoy Eating Shit for Breakfast
A new study conducted by FAU Student Health Services indicates that longboarders both enjoy and crave eating shit on the Breezeway concrete on a daily…
Freshman Ambushed by SWAT Team After Skipping Single ENC 1101 Class
Edward O’Burke quickly regretted skipping his ENC1101 class on Tuesday when a door ram knocked his Parliament dorm room door off and six heavily armed…
Professor Enters Class 14 Minutes Late, 3 Dead
Professor Braxton entered his Political Theory course 14 minutes late yesterday, leading to three student fatalities. The classroom tragedy started as so many tragedies do:…
Florida-Grown Man Revs Truck Engine At 3 AM
Reports are now confirming that the source of the deafening noise heard Friday morning at 3 A.M. was not a sonic boom, but rather the…
Report: Only 90s Kids Remember Breezeway
Step aside, Tamagotchi: the full-length FAU Breezeway provides 90’s kids a truly wicked blast from the past. The ability to walk straight to class without…
FAU Rents Out Algonquin Hall to U.S. Government For New Military Prison
On early Friday morning, U.S. government officials signed a leasing contract with FAU over Algonquin Hall, to turn the hall into a brand new military…
FAU Student Proudly Donates Awkward Smile to Homeless Man
On Friday morning, FAU freshman Christian White proudly donated an awkward smile to a homeless man in Fort Lauderdale. White had reportedly stopped his brand…
Latest Millennial Trend Takes FAU by Storm: Scoliosis
Forget your man-buns and crop tops. Forget your Calvin Klein undergarments and hipster eyewear. It’s time for the latest scoop on the hottest Spring trend…