Report: Only 90s Kids Remember Breezeway
Step aside, Tamagotchi: the full-length FAU Breezeway provides 90’s kids a truly wicked blast from the past. The ability to walk straight to class without…
FAU Rents Out Algonquin Hall to U.S. Government For New Military Prison
On early Friday morning, U.S. government officials signed a leasing contract with FAU over Algonquin Hall, to turn the hall into a brand new military…
FAU Student Proudly Donates Awkward Smile to Homeless Man
On Friday morning, FAU freshman Christian White proudly donated an awkward smile to a homeless man in Fort Lauderdale. White had reportedly stopped his brand…
Latest Millennial Trend Takes FAU by Storm: Scoliosis
Forget your man-buns and crop tops. Forget your Calvin Klein undergarments and hipster eyewear. It’s time for the latest scoop on the hottest Spring trend…
Breezeway Focuses On Inner Beauty After Spiritual Spring Break
The FAU Breezeway returned Monday morning with a newfound appreciation of itself, announcing that it would halt exterior construction and focus instead on its inner…
BREAKING: Banana Spiders Not Actually Made of Bananas?
The FAU Biology department is in turmoil after the results of a long-awaited research study reveals that the infamous banana spiders on the Boca Raton…
ROTC Cadet Really Glad You Thanked Her For Her Service
Yesterday, sophomore sociology major and Army ROTC Cadet Emily Barkley was swarmed with thanks for her service. With her fake M-16 in her arms and…
Midterm to Student: “I’m Going to Hurt You”
This week, The Hoot received an anonymous letter from your midterm. We’re publishing it here in full, just so you know what you’re getting yourself…
Student Voyages to Campus Subway, Dies of Exhaustion One Footlong Short
Senior student Becky Roberto found herself freshly dead instead of eating fresh this Wednesday afternoon after taking a marathon hike to the campus Subway. Eyewitnesses…
Fucking Idiot Shouts Wrong Answer Out In Class
The existence of intelligent life on Earth was doubted Wednesday after a dumb fucking idiot decided to confidently voice the incorrect answer to a question…