Snow Birds And Other Signs Of The Apocalypse
A chill hangs in the air. Here at FAU, it is not common for us to don sweaters and jackets, but it does tend to…
Smart Student Always Called On Last Gets Hand Amputated
The paramedicโs were called to Prof. Andy Furgisonโs 9am 20th Century Literary Movements course after Jack Dunn passed out mid-class. Hoot reporters were on the…
Failed Pitches Of 2019
๐๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ด๐ถ๐ค๐ค๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐บ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ 2019 ๐๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฑ๐ช๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ข๐ฌ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ ๐ฃ๐ข๐ค๐ฌ ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ต๐ค๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ช๐ด๐ด๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ…
โDeal With It,โ Says FAU In Response To Permanent Stoppage Of Student Union Construction
The Student Unionโs construction has left many students scared and confused in its wake. What will become of the ever-present smell of desperation and body…
Jealous Ex Knows Just How Much Fun Youโre Having Through Your Venmo Transactions
After a week of going out with friends, your terribly attached ex is one-hundred percent aware of just how great your life is through the…
UVA Secedes From FAU
Reports coming in from FAUโs Department of Housing state that in the early hours of December 6, 2019, a secret cabal met in the recreation…
Professor Offers Up Left Tit For Constructive SPOT Review
As the 2019 fall semester comes to a close, professors all over campus have begun desperately milking their students for completed SPOT reviews. While some…
An Open Letter To The People Making Macaroni And Cheese In The Library
Itโs hard to not hear you guys when Iโm sitting in between the bookshelves on the third floor. If youโre going to make macaroni and…
Top 5 Thanksgiving Dishes Grandma Will Shove Down Your Throat This Year
Thanksgiving is a time for everyone to sit down, bond over delicious food, and celebrate being thankful for your family members, even Grandma. Here are…
Top 5 On-Campus Locations To Trespass When Youโre Bored
Alone tonight again? Pathetic. Don’t worry, though, because we’ve got you covered. Here’s our top-five list of on-campus locations to trespass when you’re bored. 1.)…