FAU Football Prepares to Receive Load of Seamen Tonight
This Friday FAU students can witness Lane Kiffin and the football squad lace up their spandex, suck on some mouthguards, and blow the competition away…
Student Devastated to Learn Friends Went to Food Court Without Him
FAU student Aaron Byrne truly felt what it means to be betrayed Wednesday after asking his friends to accompany him to the food court, only…
Student Goes to Nippers, Accidentally Joins Biker Gang
This past weekend, FAU Junior Ezekiel Bettie, history major, was initiated into the Boca Bangin’ Bikers while enjoying a late night beer at the notorious…
FAU to Place Hold on Student Accounts for Having Holds on Accounts
Students on campus cringed on Friday morning as FAU released a press statement declaring all pending holds on students’ accounts to be extended indefinitely and…
Rate My Professor User Disappointed Hot Professor is an Actual Chili Pepper
Sophomore and Rate My Professors user Emmanuel Bragg became disappointed Wednesday morning when he realized that his hot professor, Ms. Chaud, was a literal smoky…
Eager FAU Freshman Ready for a Spanking
FAU freshman Landon Murphy, extremely eager to begin his Freshman year at Florida Atlantic University, has reportedly been preparing his supple butt cheeks for the…
Returning Campus Resident Bids Sorrowful Goodbye to Home Shower
Scrubbing himself clean one final time, FAU student Eddie Duvall bid a sorrowful farewell to his home shower Wednesday before returning to live on campus…
FAU Police Uses Excessive Force Against Vending Machine
FAU Police Officer Chet Radkinson was caught yesterday afternoon by three students, who witnessed him beating the shit out of an FAU vending machine. “He…
Confused FAU President John Kelly Prepares Himself for New Job as White House Chief of Staff
FAU President John Kelly became confused on Friday afternoon as he realized United States President Donald Trump had named “John F Kelly” the new White…
FAU Administration To Run Sexy Car Wash Amid Budget Cuts
After reports of a $6 million loss in state funding for FAU this week, the University’s CFO Jeff Atwater announced that he would be running…