Engineering East Helipad Construction Pushes Back Arts and Letters Renovations
FAU’s Buildings and Grounds Department reported Wednesday that renovations for the College of Arts and Letters that were planned to begin at the end of…
Smelly Classmate Lets It Rip Gently
Many students are afraid to deal with their bodily functions, often restraining themselves from flatulence or even burping in a classroom setting. A survey taken…
Student Arrives Twenty Minutes Late to Exam with Wrong Scantron
FAU senior Brian Mays arrived at his Money and Banking exam Friday morning twenty minutes late wielding the wrong colored scantron. While the majority of…
Completely Justifiable Riot Forms after Professor Doesn’t Show Up for Office Hours
On Wednesday morning, a horrible, although completely justifiable, riot broke outside the office of FAU Biology professor Harold Green after he failed to report to…
Drugs and Society Student Tries Heroin for Extra Credit
FAU freshman Jack Bianchi tried to receive extra credit for his Drugs and Society class by shooting up heroin. After being offered an extra credit…
Good Christian Returns to Church for Easter to Displace Elderly Lady from Regular Seat
Good Christian Samantha Ramirez returned to St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church this Sunday morning to partake in her annual Easter tradition of displacing an…
Righteous TA Can’t Resist Reminding You She Already Got Her Degree
Organic Chemistry I teacher assistant Debra Garrison graduated from Palm Beach State, and she doesn’t let anyone forget it. A degree she wears like a…
Student Drops Out After Receiving Overly Passive-Aggressive Discussion Board Reply
On Wednesday morning, freshman Stephanie White dropped out of FAU after receiving an extremely passive-aggressive discussion board reply. The response reportedly sent shockwaves across White’s…
Outtakes Jamaican Beef Patty Offended Students Keep Calling It An Empanada
After being commonly referred to as an empanada by students across campus, an Outtakes Jamaican beef patty is taking a firm stand against this injustice….
Parking Enforcement Officer Boots Another Parking Enforcement Officer; No Mercy In These Streets
Absolute tragedy struck Tuesday morning when Jim Parker, seasoned parking enforcement officer of three years, had his golf cart booted by another PEO for parking in…