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Campus Life, News May 17, 2016

Drunk Philosopher at Party Reminds Guests That ‘Everything is Subjective’

At a party hosted by the FAU Wine Club on Monday night, drunk guest and self-proclaimed philosopher Falcon Hawkmoon reminded all attending that everything in…


News May 12, 2016

Traveling Student Detained by TSA Due to Suspiciously Small Penis

In going through routine security checkpoints at Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport, harmless FAU sophomore Jeff Camby was detained Wednesday by the TSA due to his…


News May 10, 2016

Girl Surgically Attaches Dog Snout to Face to Emulate Popular Snapchat Filter

Nineteen-year-old Melissa Jacobs recently made the surprising decision to surgically attach the family dog’s snout to her face, after reportedly being inspired by one of…


News, Politics May 4, 2016

Distraught Zodiac Killer Awkwardly Crashes Student End-of-Semester Party

Shunned away from his own post-campaign reception, former United States Presidential nominee and confirmed Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz attempted to crash an end-of-semester student party…


Alumni, News April 29, 2016

Report: Graduating Seniors Purposely Failing Exams to Stay in College

Studies into the phenomenon of seniors failing their exams this semester have revealed that students have been purposely failing their exams in order to stay…


Listicles April 27, 2016

7 Babies Who Will Fail Their Finals This Week

They may have been studying, but these seven babies have no chance of passing their exams this week. 1. Isabelle If you were taking a…


News April 25, 2016

FAU Opens Fight Club to Help Students Relieve Finals Week Stress

FAU has recently opened an underground fighting club with the intention of helping students cope with the overwhelming stress induced by finals week. After several…


Listicles April 22, 2016

How to Live Like a Lifestyle Guru on a College Budget

By Carrie Burgendorf Lifestyle Gurus like Tiffany Amber Thiessen and Haylie Duff have recently flooded the internet with their advice, metaphysical ramblings, and thoughts on…


News April 20, 2016

Local Stoner Celebrates 4/20 by Smoking 24/7

In honor of the sacred day that is 4/20, FAU junior and full-time stoner James Bentley decided that the time was right for him to…


News April 19, 2016

Report: Macho Man With Water Jug Awes Classmates

At 9:45 A.M., it was reported that sophomore Jake Evans, a local #GymRat, walked into his Intro to Psychology course with his textbook in one…


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The Hoot is a Florida Atlantic University satirical news source. Completely independent and student-run.

The Hoot is in no way associated with Florida Atlantic University. All published content is meant solely for entertainment purposes.
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