Rate My Professor User Disappointed Hot Professor is an Actual Chili Pepper

Sophomore and Rate My Professors user Emmanuel Bragg became disappointed Wednesday morning when he realized that his hot professor, Ms. Chaud, was a literal smoky red pepper. Bragg claimed that he had been using the popular teacher-evaluating website to see which professors “could fill out that Hotness pepper, if you know what I mean.”

But when he arrived in class, he felt nothing but shame. “I need to reexamine how I go about picking my teachers,” he said, dripping in sweaty desire. “I never used to have this problem when I would manually test where my teachers fell on the Scoville scale. Maybe technology is the problem.”

Ms. Chaud was shocked when she heard why the sophomore dropped her course. “He saw a pepper character next to my name, so he should have known what to expect,” said the capsaicin-laden Chaud. “I am so hot, it will make you wanna slap your momma. Some students simply can not handle the heat. And for that, they must get out of the kitchen.”

At press time, Bragg was seen crying in the student union, going through Rate My Professors with a deep, desperate glare. “All I want is some hot teachers. Not a pepper or a bowl of curry or whatever, but still hot.”