“Reaping” Held to Select New FAU Football Players

Shortly after 11am yesterday, the morning was split by the sound of a ram’s horn that echoed across the Boca Raton campus of FAU. While the freshmen looked around, totally unaware of what was happening, the sophomores, juniors, and seniors became very quiet and solemn. The Reaping had begun.

Every year, new players for the FAU football team are selected via The Reaping. Yesterday, the entire student body was filed into the football stadium for the event. FAU President John Kelly and head coach Charlie Partridge stood on a scaffold to address all the new freshmen who were led out onto the field. “It was cold, man,” says junior Ralph Johnson. “The freshmen didn’t even know what was coming.”

When it came time to choose the new football players, the beloved figurehead and mascot Owlsley was brought up onto the scaffold. As soon as he appeared, all the upperclassmen started rhythmically humming, which continued until the end of the ceremony. Owlsley reached into the glass bowl filled with the names of every FAU freshman, picked one, and then said cheerfully into the microphone: “Sophie Turner!” A scream was heard in the crowd as Sophie, who stands at only 5’2” — not a fortunate height given she’s the new linebacker — fell to her knees in tears.

And so The Reaping went for a good twenty minutes until each spot was filled on Partridge’s roster. Some highlights include when Marcus Donnelly cried out upon being chosen, “Oh dear Christ, why do you do this?” To which President Kelly smiled ominously before answering, “This is the way it’s done. This is the way it’s always been done.” At one moment it looked as if a young man was going to volunteer himself as tribute to spare his friend, but he stopped just before reaching the stage after fully realizing the consequences of being a player on the FAU football team.