Report: 98% of ‘Locker Room Talk’ Actually About How Weebles Wobble But They Don’t Fall Down

A study conducted by the Florida Atlantic University Department of Sociology has confirmed that the content of 98% of conversations held in locker rooms is directly related to the fact that Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down. “We wanted to know what [United States Presidential nominee Donald] Trump truly meant when he used the phrase ‘locker room talk,’” said head researcher Lindsey Blume, referring to Trump’s reaction to a recently surfaced video tape, which contained language that he later wrote off as “locker room talk.” “These results were astounding. I’ve always known that Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down, but who knew athletes were so enthralled by the concept? This could lead to a new understanding of the role of sports and athletes in our society, and I am glad to know that Weebles are the key to unlocking this mystery.” The contents of the remaining 2% of conversations remain a mystery, but insider knowledge suggests that they usually have something to do with that episode of Golden Girls where Rose brings a stray dog home from the supermarket.