Report: White Student’s Skin ‘Basically Olive’

On Monday morning, tragedy struck student Eric Milano during a lecture when he was accused of being white by one of his fellow peers, defensively claiming his complexion was “basically olive.” Milano, known among friends to be very proud of his “1/48th Cherokee origins,” has suffered through multiple instances of his skin tone not being properly recognized. “It’s a daily struggle,” sighed Milano as he recounted what he considered to be extremely painful memories, “and it just gets to be too much sometimes. I just wish people would recognize me for my true olive skin, not just as some white guy.”

The student who mistakenly referred to Milano as white instead of olive, Lacey Gray, still failed to realize what was wrong with her comment. “It’s not like I insulted him or anything, I just used a different word to refer to his skin color.” This comment caused Milano, who was lingering nearby, to storm out of the room and book a tanning appointment in anger.

At press time, Milano had announced that he officially began a GoFundMe page to help support him after going through such a horrific attack.