Senior Decides It’s Finally Time To Stop Messing Around

The time has finally come for FAU senior Reiley Clemson to buckle down and stop messing around. Clemson decided that it was time to quit the lollygagging and ballyhoo recently when she realized that, oh shit, time doesn’t stop for anyone, no one is young forever, and life is about to hit with the strength of an entire semester’s worth of 5-hour Energy. “I thought college was all about getting suspiciously sweaty at the local bar, passing out, and drinking Starbucks with shades on in class the next morning,” said the seven-time IVA beer pong champion, AKA Reiley “Redemption” Clemson. “But college is actually about being able to finish any kind of degree to impress your parents and friends back home. I had to buckle down ASAP.” At press time, although very introspective and enlightening, her initiative went unfulfilled after her tweet about “becoming a better person and taking a social media break to focus on school” received a single like from a Russian Twitterbot.