Senior Swears His Beer Tastes Great

Sources are now confirming that 21-year-old Rodney Lapinski,  a Florida Atlantic University senior, made claims at the party he was attending Thursday night that his beer tasted great.

“Honestly, he wouldn’t shut up about it,” said Sarah Dunn, a fellow party attendee. “He kept going on about how good his beer tasted and he’d keep shoving it our faces.

Witnesses reported that Lapinski walked around the party with the same can of beer for that night. “Every time there’s a party, Rodney always shows up with boxes of Miller Lite,” Dunn went on to say. “We don’t even need the alcohol. We just wanted him to bring food.”

Lapinski, a self-proclaimed “prolific beer-drinker,” also claims that he is known for keeping his fridge stocked mostly with various malt beverages. “I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to knock a few back while doing my homework, chores, exercise, and other daily duties,” said Lapinski.

“The thing is, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him drink any of that beer,” said Matteo Lopez, Lapinski’s former roommate. “He usually only waits for me, and I generally shoot him down.  If anything, he’s probably lonely.”