Smelly Classmate Lets It Rip Gently

Many students are afraid to deal with their bodily functions, often restraining themselves from flatulence or even burping in a classroom setting. A survey taken by the Student Health Services in 2017 deduced that 78% of the student population restrain their gaseous material while in class and suffer various health problems because of it. However, one student, a sophomore named Michael Roberts, is setting an example for the rest of the student body.

According to his classmates, Roberts was seen, poot by poot, slowly easing silent yet fragrant air bubbles into the classroom on Thursday evening. Roberts’ classmates were so amazed at his sheer politeness and consideration for his fellow peers and couldn’t help but give him a standing ovation.

“He was the only one to do what we all wanted to do. He’s a hero among us,” said junior Kimberly Bimble.

“It smelled awful but there’s just something about the scent that reminds that we’re alive and kicking,” said senior Harrison Daniels.