South Florida Gas Tanks Not Used to Being This Full

Full Gas Tanks FAU The Hoot Satire

Gas tanks across South Florida woke up this morning in a post-binge daze, still half drunk off the gallons of gasoline they had consumed the night before. The tanks, whether freestanding or connected to motor vehicles, reportedly all rushed to gas stations yesterday and waited hours for their fix in what could only be described as mass hysteria. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m sitting in the driveway untouched, as I had been for days, and suddenly I felt the need to wait in line at 1 A.M. for two hours,” said one tank, who preferred not to be named. “I was already more than three-quarters full before I went. How could I have been so careless? Why do we do this to ourselves?” At press time, full tanks were seen getting back in gas lines just to make sure they had enough of that sweet, sweet gasoline.