On Friday, student Logan Wood reportedly alleged that his four-year-old Shih Tzu ate his two-paragraph Film Theory discussion board response before its 11:59 p.m. submission deadline.
“Believe me, I was completely surprised when Oreo climbed on top of my desk and licked my computer screen clean,” said Wood.
“I mean, I’d be a bad professor if I constantly doubted my students,” said Carter McGrath, Wood’s professor. “We need to nurture them, and even though Wood is full of shit, I applaud his creativity.”
Wood has currently been excused from his discussion post entry. At press time, his dog was reported to have been pooping out words in Calibri font.