Student Convinced Professor Was in a Porno

FAU student Scott Johnson was deathly bored in his Advanced Physics class when a thought struck him: had he seen Professor Jenkins in a porno before? An avid fan of the adult film industry, Johnson was almost positive he remembered seeing his highly-esteemed physics professor in “Star Whores: The Porn Awakens,” one of the top “hottest” videos on PornHub. “He was talking about Newton’s Laws of Physics or some bullshit, when all of a sudden he sneezed. I knew right then that I’d seen him in a porno, because that face he made when he sneezed was the same face he made when Jabba’s slave women drew the Force out of his crotch,” explains Johnson. While no concrete details have surfaced regarding the suspicion, the thought alone of Professor Jenkins being in porn is reportedly enough to destroy his students’ focus. “Every time I go to office hours, all I can do is look around and wonder if this is the very room they filmed the scene where Hand Solo and Chewcrotcha fight off the First Order with Princess Lay-a Orgasma,” a clearly distraught Johnson stated. In related news, The Hoot has also received reports that one of FAU’s security guards is definitely Terry Crews.