On Wednesday morning, freshman Stephanie White dropped out of FAU after receiving an extremely passive-aggressive discussion board reply. The response reportedly sent shockwaves across White’s ENC 1102 class, as she was “humiliated” over the snide remarks of her fellow classmate, Mark Gonzales.
“I’m not sure why she’s so mad,” said Gonzales as he reviewed his response to White. “All I wrote was, ‘Hi, Stephanie! Great post. I really liked the things you said about the thing. However, maybe in the future, you should use fewer semicolons; not many people know how to use them correctly.’”
“That’s not so bad, is it?” added Gonzales. “I mean, I even added a smiley face at the end after I complimented the uniqueness of her entry and how it clearly wasn’t a regurgitation of the textbook like all of the other posts on the board.”
“Mark is fucking wrong,” screamed an enraged White. “How dare he lecture me on the use of semicolons. I don’t care if the professor asked us to supply feedback, any negative discussion board reply is crossing the fucking line!”
At press time, White had fully channeled her depression into hatred while swearing vengeance on Gonzalez for his extreme slander, vowing to avenge her public disgrace. Gonzales and his family are currently in hiding, terrified of the death threats delivered by White every day.