On Wednesday morning during her Intro to Astronomy class, hapless freshman Rebecca Clark failed to jot down the final two bullet points of notes before her professor changed the PowerPoint slide. Seated in a lecture hall containing over one-hundred students and too socially anxious to ask whether the professor could return to the previous slide, Clark had no other option than to accept her grim fate. To make the situation even worse, Clark’s professor reiterated that the slide contained information which would be crucial to passing the impending exam.
“Once he finished reading off the last line of the slide, this brief, eerie pause filled the room, broken only by the harrowing sound of his finger clicking the trackpad on his laptop,” Clark divulged. “In that tragic moment, I didn’t even need to look up from my unfinished page of hastily-written notes: I knew the slide was gone, and that it would never be coming back.” Clark’s misfortune ran even deeper as she unsuccessfully attempted to gather the missing notes from her neighboring classmates. “The guy to my left wasn’t even paying attention and spent the majority of class browsing images of monster trucks on his computer. The girl to my right hadn’t finished copying from the slide either, and from there I guess she just figured the whole thing was fucked and stopped taking notes altogether.”
Realizing it would be impossible to rival the mach speeds at which her professor was powering through the slideshow, Clark decided to ask a friend that had taken the class a prior semester to forward her the notes. Unfortunately, the notes she received were deemed so illegible that “the world’s leading linguistics analysts would not have been able to decipher them.”