Student Pulls All Nighter for Algebra Exam, Ends Up Expert in Franco-Prussian War

After three red bulls, two panic attacks, and one long night of studying, student Cassandra Laporte left for her Algebra exam Friday morning only to realize she spent the entire preceding evening reading extensive Wikipedia summaries about the Franco-Prussian War. Laporte immediately realized she was totally fucked — almost as fucked as the French army was at the Battle of Sedan which ultimately led to the collapse of the Second French Empire. There was no hope for her, unlike the newfound hope in the people of the German Empire. “If worse comes to worst, I can always retake Algebra the same way the Francs-tireurs guerrilla forces attempted to retake Paris,” a frantic Laporte said. At press time, Laporte had just begun her exam and, in response to a question about dividing polynomials, wrote that x is equal to Napoleon III.