Despite receiving numerous warnings from his professor at the beginning of the spring semester, junior Jeff Brown was utterly shocked Wednesday to discover that he really could not finish his Script Writing midterm project in one night.
“How was I supposed to know that it would take more than a day to complete?” a puzzled Brown asked. “If you ask me, the professor should have taken into account that I’m a procrastinator.”
Brown has spent the majority of his college career passing his classes by what he refers to as “God’s plan.” According to close sources, Brown’s Script Writing professor is an atheist, and will not be allowing the procrastinating student any extra time to complete the project. Brown’s classmates have reported that he planned to fill out an appeal form to send to the dean, but did not make the submission deadline.