Student Too Cool To Join Organizations Hasn’t Spoken To Anyone In Three Years

A recent report revealed that, among the junior class at FAU, one student had refrained from joining student organizations in hopes of appearing cooler, thus causing her to lose all forms of human connection. To many attending FAU, student organizations may appear to be lame or trying too hard. This was especially true for incredibly cool yet antisocial student Katja Smith.

“Why the hell would I join one of those loser clubs?” questioned Smith, clearly excited to have made human contact for the first time in years. “I bet all they do is sit around and talk about school. Hah, not me. I prefer chilling with my pet rocks.”

Peers, however, seem concerned. “It’s really not healthy,” claimed Shirley Jones, a former friend before joining Student Government. “I tried to get her to join a club, just to make some friends, but she just told me she was ‘Too cool for school.’”

At press time, sources revealed Smith had started an “Anti-Club Club” for students who were also too cool and impressive to join a club. Unfortunately, much of the target audience was too worried about damaging their reputation to actually join.