Student Union B.O. Scented Air Freshener Replaced with B.O. Scented Man

The mysterious B.O. smell in the FAU Student Union, long thought caused by intense, sweaty games of Super Smash Bros in the gaming corner, was revealed on Thursday to be the result of a defective air freshener that has now resurfaced. The “Spring Mist” scented gel-based air freshener, installed in 1997 after a major renovation, was placed in one corner of the Union and promptly forgotten. Everything worked as it was supposed to until a student, known as “Big Mike” among students and as “Z96530578” among faculty, walked past the area in late 2002. Preliminary reports indicate that the air freshener sucked up Big Mike’s odor, and that in that moment, Spring had ended. Faculty has considered installing a new air freshener in its place, but students claim that the Union “wouldn’t feel the same” without the scent. As a result, Big Mike, who graduated FAU with a Psychology degree in 2004, has been hired to sit in the corner in place of the air freshener during all open hours, starting next Monday.