In a massive act of selflessness effectuated by the FAU gaming community, Student Union gamers collectively decided to turn off Super Smash Brothers and take their lone shower of the semester. The Student Union has long smelled of meat sweats, armpits desperately calling for deodorant, and bodies covered in the dust of competitive gaming, but in light of this recent news, students may finally get to enjoy a few days of a pleasant aroma.
“Did Mario take a shower when he had to rescue Princess Peach from Bowser’s evil clutches?” said sophomore Computer Science major Ricky Gears as he carefully shaved the fuzzy peach hair that had been developing on his chin for over a year. “I don’t remember Master Chief taking a shower when he was saving the galaxy from the Covenant, and I bet he smelled like the roof of a possum’s mouth under all that armor. If our gaming heroes can wait to take showers then so can we.” Gears went on to attribute their lack of personal hygiene to busy course schedules, focus on their singular social activity, and that many worlds must be saved through their efforts. “When was my last shower? Fall semester. I’ve been recording a five-month Minecraft live stream since then.”