Study Finds There Are Never Enough Employees At Outtakes When You Need Them

After Wednesday morning’s 9:30 Outtakes line stretched all the way to the Jow Jing across the food court, FAU’s administrators conducted a study that found what many students had suspected all along: there are never quite as many employees manning the Outtakes register when students really needed them.

“Yeah, I got to know, like, three people way better than I want to ‘cause I was stuck in line with them,” complained student Ally Sheedy, who spent 14 minutes one morning waiting in the Outtakes line, which reportedly caused her to be late to a “like, super important” class.

Sheedy is not alone. A survey of students found that over two-thirds of respondents that had frequented Outtakes in the last month reported significant delays.

“All I wanted was a pack of gum and an iced tea, and I had to wait right behind some chick who decided to do her grocery shopping at Outtakes,” perpetual complainer Kathryn Lang explained to reporters on the scene. “There was only one staffer at the counter, and they left right after she bought her stuff to go ‘put more coffee on the pot.’ I waited 15 minutes!”

The study also found that during times of low traffic, especially later in the day, there were always two employees present at the till waiting eagerly for customers that would only show up sporadically. Outtakes would not dignify suspicions that they purposefully cause this issue with a response.