Breaking: New FAU Football Coach Lane Kiffin to Be Paid Exclusively in Disappointment
On Monday morning Lane Kiffin was revealed to be signing a contract to become the new head coach of the FAU football team, under the…
Football
Charlie Partridge Takes New Job at Waste Management, Finally Works with Literal Garbage
Former head coach of the FAU football team Charlie Partridge was discovered on the back of a garbage truck Monday morning, settling into his new…
President Kelly: There Will Be a Mewtwo at the Stadium Tonight, I Swear
At 11 A.M. on Saturday morning, FAU’s President Kelly held a press conference at the Baldwin House to entice students into attending the night’s football game,…
FAU Football Team Receives Three Billion Dollars in Chipotle Gift Cards
In a transformative move sure to change the face of collegiate charity, the Schmidt Family Foundation donated the largest amount of money in FAU history…