Owlsley To Reporters: “Don’t Talk To Me Or My Son Ever Again”
Late Thursday afternoon after being crowded by a rush of paparazzi and university news network reporters, the normally happy-go-lucky FAU mascot, Owlsley, may have lost…
Owlsley
Breaking: Trump Pays Owlsley Hush Money For Sexual Favors
On June 24, 2006, during his stay at a nearby Residence Inn, then business mogul, Donald Trump, was reported to have paid FAU’s mascot, Owlsley,…
Owlsley Demands Extended Summer Break As Part Of Contract Renewal
On Monday morning, news quickly spread that Owlsley may not be returning to FAU when expected due to a demand for an extended summer break…
Owlsley Has Existential Crisis: “I’m The Last Real Owl At FAU”
Earlier this Monday morning, Owlsley was found lying on the ground covered in owl drool and the tangy barbeque sauce of a weekend bender clinging…
FAU Recruits Furby as New Mascot
Three months after the horrific Thanksgiving disappearance of its beloved mascot Owlsley, the FAU administration has finally chosen the new face of the university: 90s…