Pres. Kelly Promoted To The Board Of Trustees’ Best Owl Boi
Reports are coming in from the Office of the President of the University that the rumors of Pres. John Kelly’s promotion by FAU’s Board of…
Reports are coming in from the Office of the President of the University that the rumors of Pres. John Kelly’s promotion by FAU’s Board of…
In what is surprisingly not so shocking news, President Kelly has had his 1984 sextape leaked. It appeared online Thursday night on a random and…
In a move hailed as unprecedented by university presidents, John Kelly has decided to give FAU quite the treat for 2021: a professionally-shot Kelly Kalendar,…
At a surprise press conference Monday night, President Kelly released an officially unofficial statement regarding both the Covid-19 cases and the Housing debacle reported on…
While times may be strange right now, with all students taking remote classes and slightly losing our grasp on reality, there is hope. President Kelly…
Amidst the accusations against the many celebrities and wealthy who have illegally paid enormous sums to guarantee their children a spot in different universities, President…
President John Kelly enacted a campus-wide emergency Wednesday in response to the subpar attendance at university sporting events. “We’re going to be signing today and…
1. Most would assume he was just enjoying his summer, but don’t scaley monsters also like to rest in the sun? 2. Hiding something, Kelly?…
FAU President John Kelly became confused on Friday afternoon as he realized United States President Donald Trump had named “John F Kelly” the new White…
After reports of a $6 million loss in state funding for FAU this week, the University’s CFO Jeff Atwater announced that he would be running…