Sophomore Has First Meal Of Semester
FAU sophomore, Connor Stevenson, ate his first meal of the semester this Thanksgiving. Professors, classmates, and doctors don’t know how he survived the 95 days…
Thanksgiving
Local Turducken Faces Identity Crisis
On Thursday afternoon, local turducken Jennifer was found sobbing underneath a kitchen table during what appeared to be a terrifying existential identity crisis. During the…
“I Am Thankful for… My Hot Cousin?!”
Local student Rocco Taylor got a shock this year upon meeting his cousin Brittany for the first time, where he immediately found himself uncontrollably attracted…
Fucking Loser Celebrates Thanksgiving Alone in Abandoned IRT Dorm Room
While normal students across the FAU dorms have vacated to the warm embrace of their families this Thursday for Thanksgiving break, geology sophomore and Fucking…
Failing Student Worried Turkey Won’t Be Only Thing Getting Roasted Tomorrow
After shamefully opening Blackboard to discover that he is failing all of his classes, FAU student Marquis Donovan came to the unsettling realization that this…
Pres. Kelly Takes School Spirit to Uncanny Heights at Faculty Thanksgiving Dinner
Feeling that holidays on the FAU campus were severely lacking in school pride, Florida Atlantic University President John Kelly decided to host an exclusive Thanksgiving…