On a historic Friday morning, sophomore student Alecia Evans finally attended her sociology class for the first time this semester. Across campus, many students decide to skip classes due to how boring they can be, or because they’re not fucking nerds. Some students never even attend class, completely foreign to the subject until the final exam. Until recently, Evans was one of them.
“This is actually pretty interesting,” stated Evans, skimming through her sociology textbook that she just rented from the bookstore. “When I read the RateMyProfessor, they said that attendance didn’t matter, but if I’m being honest, this class lowkey snaps. Marxism and all that other shit. Solid stuff.”
Other students in the class were frustrated. “Because of people like Alecia, nobody thinks they have to attend class,” admitted fellow peer Maya Ray. “I am one of three people that has attended this lecture the entire semester.”
In response to this, Evans claimed students like Ray are simply “losers who don’t have the balls to skip.”
At press time, Evans was reported to have opened her Canvas account for the first time and is still being accustomed to the system.