Top Six Ways To Keep It Together During Finals Week

Finals week is particularly difficult this semester. Here are some tips to get you through it all.

1. Don’t

Starting off with the obvious: just don’t even try. You didn’t get to have an in-person semester, or an in-person year really, so just let go. Finals, shminals. Who cares anymore?

2. Emotionally Attach Yourself To A Twitch Streamer

Download the popular streaming app Twitch, and become horrifically emotionally attached to the Twitch streamer of your choice. Not recommended if you actually want to focus on anything else.

3. Learn How To Bake

Who needs school when you have sourdough? Instead of stressing about finals, take up baking. Maybe you can even bake your professor an apology cake after you fail your finals!

4. Take Up Heavy Drinking

Do you know what goes well with all that sourdough? Copious amounts of alcohol. Take up drinking to get you through finals week. Once again, not recommended if you actually want to pass.

5. Get Possessed

Don’t want to do the hard work of keeping your life together during finals week? Ask a demon to do it for you! They could always use a willing host.

6. Seduce The TA

When in doubt, seduce the TA into giving you a better grade in the class. You’ve done it in your in-person classes, how difficult could it possibly be online?