Two Remaining Students on Campus Rejoice as Black Friday Sales Make FAU Bookstore More Affordable

FAU’s most beloved bookstore, known for their famous $5.99 pen, announced on Thursday that they will be opening up for Black Friday with massive discounts up to 80% off. Although this is unprecedented for a business whose mission statement is “to take candy from a baby,” it has been incredibly well received by the two students who unwillingly stayed on campus for Thanksgiving break. Freshman Gerald Mitz said to reporters, “When I told my friends that I was staying at school over the break, they laughed at me. But I just bought a whole pack of paper from the school store for the normal price they’d be at Office Depot, so who’s laughing now?”

The bookstore is known around campus for their high prices which end up turning most students away. Sophomore Carlos Johnson recounts, “I went to the bookstore to get a scantron and a textbook earlier this year, but they were too expensive, so I got a free scantron from the Dean’s office and pirated my textbook.” When asked if Carlos would be taking advantage of this incredible holiday blowout, he simply replied, “How could I ignore a regularly priced item?”

At press time, the campus bookstore manager told reporters this move was pulled to show that the bookstore “sincerely [cares] about students’ financial situations, even if for only a day.” Gerald and Carlos, both broke college kids, told journalists on the scene that they were truly touched by this initiative. “You know, I was missing my family up in Washington pretty hard this Thanksgiving, but this sale… this sale really helped fill that void,” said a teary-eyed Carlos.

The bookstore will revert to selling marked up items at exactly 11:59pm tonight.