University Press: ‘Honestly, The Hoot Is Better Than Us’

During a series of meetings over the weekend, members of the University Press and their advisors concluded that The Hoot is the better news source. UP faculty advisor and Multimedia Journalism professor Dr. Jill Klein fell to tears as the UP leadership confirmed their publication’s inferiority. “Honestly, The Hoot is better than us,” she asserted, desperately fanning herself with her undeserved paycheck outside the UP’s Student Union office. “They’re owlbliterating us.”

In reaction to this declaration, UP advisors have been discussing a possible move to entertainment content. “Most of our student writers just do whatever worked for successful journalists anyways,” said one anonymous advisor. “And you know what? Why not take it a step further? They might as well plagiarize their satirical articles, too.”

A press release posted this morning to the UP’s Facebook account, which has one sad face reaction, states that while The Hoot’s Breezeway coverage has been admittedly groundbreaking, the UP has something in the works that will change the face of campus news. Until that indefinitely postponed event occurs, though, the University Press is content with being seen as the lesser of the campus news organizations.