Upperclassman’s Heart Touched by Ex-Girlfriend’s Engagement

FAU senior Jason Smith logged onto Facebook yesterday to see that his ex-girlfriend, fellow FAU senior Leslie Diaz, is now happily engaged. Smith instantly became overjoyed by the wonderful news that Diaz, who cheated on Smith, is now engaged to another FAU student and appears blissfully pleased with her new lover. “Wow, what a wonderful display of true love,” said the senior English major, swiping through Tinder with a watery eye. “My love is like a red, red rose, but she is so above the poetic remarks of Robert Burns.” He then went on to look through his ex’s engagement photos for the nineteenth time that hour. “Yes, seeing her cheat on me with a 3 while I am a solid 7 was sad at first, but wow-ee! This love story surely beats the odds. Kiss my ass, Nick Sparks.” At press time, Smith was seen crying over newly released engagement photos of Diaz, promising that he was “happy crying” and that his soul was “filled with glee.”