“We Lit” Says, Governor Ron DeSantis As Florida Goes Up In Flames

Tis’ the season, and you know what that means: hot chocolate, the Polar Express, cuddles by the fireplace, and our STUPID tradition of decorating palm trees.

Out-of-state Freshman Sandy Smith took to Twitter to release all her kept up rage on the topic. “The whole point of the holiday season is to decorate your houses and Christmas trees, not palm trees. I just view it as a stupid and imbecilic tradition that could end up being a major fire hazard. Do you guys not care about your carbon footprint?” Within hours, Smith’s tweet got over 3.7 million likes and a lot of hate comments from the account “@FloridaMen954.” But the comment that stood out most was from the ring leader behind the whole operation, Governor Ron DeSantis.

DeSantis retweeted the post and personally attacked Smith for her cruelty against Florida tradition saying: “If you don’t like it, then leave. Peace out.” This single tweet caused such an uproar within the Florida community that everyone started dressing up palm trees with Christmas lights.

The aftermath of this event though is what really set Florida apart from the rest of the country. One by one, the trees went up in flames, permanently entrapping the state in their own dome of carbon dioxide. Governor DeSantis, personally tweeted out “Who knew it was a fire hazard? My bad bro, but guess what? We lit.”

No one outside of the state has been able to make contact with Florida officials since then, and it is all thanks to our Florida tradition of decorating palm trees.