Student Accidentally Joins Cult Instead Of Fraternity
Sources confirmed Monday that freshman Chad Stuart joined a cult that he mistook for a fraternity. Stuart had reportedly been searching for an on-campus fraternity…
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Are The Orientation Leaders Okay?
With FAU’s Weeks of Welcome well underway for the Fall 2019 semester, the brightest and most charismatic of the university’s student body are hard at…
Abandoned Twitter Account Doomed To Tweet Daily Automated Horoscopes Forever
“He used to be one of those guys that retweeted porn and made all of his followers feel uncomfortable. Nowadays, he might as well be a bot, just a sad husk of his former horny self.”
Senior Can’t Believe There Are Still Two Weeks Left Of This Shit
With graduation approaching, senior Craig Shaw can’t believe there are still two weeks left of this school shit. “Four fucking years. Four whole years and…
Desperate Senior Can’t Find Anyone To Sell iClicker To
With his final semester coming to a close, desperate senior Michael West reported Monday that he cannot find anyone to sell his used iClicker to….
Student Too Cool To Join Organizations Hasn’t Spoken To Anyone In Three Years
A recent report revealed that, among the junior class at FAU, one student had refrained from joining student organizations in hopes of appearing cooler, thus…
FAU Parking Enforcement Officer Pisses On Car After Issuing Ticket
Sources confirmed Thursday that an FAU parking enforcement officer reportedly pissed on a car after sliding a citation underneath the windshield wiper. Witnesses reported the…
FAU Tobacco Free Ambassador Program Seeking Snitches
Since 2015, FAU has enforced a tobacco-free policy across all campuses with the hopes of creating a healthier environment for students and staff. In order…
5 Times FAU’s Course Description Writer Wrote About Their Personal Life For Some Reason
Course descriptions generally offer students brief statements about the subject matter of the course before they register. Here are five times FAU’s course description writer…
Sophomore Has First Meal Of Semester
FAU sophomore, Connor Stevenson, ate his first meal of the semester this Thanksgiving. Professors, classmates, and doctors don’t know how he survived the 95 days…