Five Ways To Merge Onto Glades Road

Are you a commuter student? If so, you’re probably aware of how challenging it can be to merge onto Glades Road when leaving campus. Well, thankfully for you, straight from the archives of The Hoot’s driving school, we’ve come up with five awesome alternative methods to use the next time you’re merging onto that unforgiving road.

1. Gun it straight into oncoming traffic: You see, by randomly pulling in front of a series of cars, you can effectively halt traffic as the other drivers will always value your safety over theirs.

2. Get to the end of the merging lane and wait: Eventually, all traffic that passes by will be stricken with sadness and, out of both sympathy and pity, will allow you to merge right on in with no problem at all!

3. Bail out: As soon as you turn into the merging lane, eject yourself from the driver’s seat and allow your vehicle to knock some of those selfish drivers off the road. Don’t worry about any insurance claims. Since you weren’t behind the wheel during the crash, you can’t get in any trouble!

4. Pick up a police siren: We lovingly call this method the “fakin’ bacon”. Masquerading as a police car, simply turn on that siren and watch as the nearby vehicles swerve out of your way and drop far below the speed limit. Just be wary, real pigs seem to love bacon.

5. Tokyo Drift: This method requires a bit of practice and may coincide with the first method. This really puts the skills you’ve learned from watching street racing films and Mario Kart to the test, as you’ll have to hit the three-wheel motion and glide along that merging lane. Should this prove too difficult, you can always use the bail out technique.

Godspeed out there, drivers. We hope these five tricks help you out on your daily commute!