Sophomore Has First Meal Of Semester

FAU sophomore, Connor Stevenson, ate his first meal of the semester this Thanksgiving. Professors, classmates, and doctors don’t know how he survived the 95 days since the semester began. Stevenson was spotted at UVA attending his roommates Friendsgiving, scarfing down a plateful of turkey, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.

“It was easy not eating,” Stevenson told sources. “If you don’t go to class and just sleep, your metabolism is nonexistent and you’re too tired to function anyway”.

When his roommate saw that he wasn’t going to class for weeks on end, he got a little worried. “Connor isn’t a straight-A student by any means, but he goes to class at least twice a week. I thought he died because of the awful odor seeping through his room,” said Sebastian Thomas. 

At press time, Stevenson’s friends delivered care packages to homeless shelters to express their gratitude as part of their Friendsgiving tradition. Stevenson was missing from the heartwarming scene after leaving Friendsgiving early, saying he “wasn’t thankful for the meal because the turkey was dry.”