It’s that time of the semester again, folx, when the work begins to pile up, and from the freshest Bambi Freshman to the most senioritis addled Super-Senior, students are mailing in their weekly work, prioritizing end of semester papers, projects, and exams. One such student, first semester Freshman Barry Kranstone, is doing the bare minimum like many others. Hoot reporters spoke to Kranstone’s instructors and classmates, since that “bare minimum” included not answering our emails.
“He’s just not turning in the same level of work he was earlier in the semester,” commented Instr. Jackie Dennings, Krantone’s ENC 1101 instructor. “I mean don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t stellar, but he was doing well. However, starting a week or so ago he started missing work, and the work he was turning in wasn’t as good. It seems to me that Barry has reached a critical juncture in his education where he just can’t mail it in anymore.”
Another student in Instr. Dennings ENC 1101 class, Alexis McGill, also noticed Barry’s decline. “He used to do really in-depth reviews on peer review day and talk in just about every class, answering question after question Instr. Dennings posed. Today, Barry commented ‘Wow, that’s crazy’ on my discussion post about my experiences with stereotypes in preparation for our next essay.”
At press time, FAU’s clinic staff released a statement regarding this phenomena. The statement, in part, read “As has happened in previous years, we have failed to contain ‘End of Semester Apathy,’ and it would appear that this new wave ESA has hit even the newest generation of FAU owls. Symptoms of the disease include not caring about your work, day drinking, and googling what jobs you can get without a Bachelor’s degree. We are sorry for failing in our responsibility of keeping FAU and the Owls within safe and healthy yet again.” However, the Clinic staff did say that “[W]earing a mask can prevent the spread of ESA.”