Student Handing Out Flyers On Breezeway Becomes Monster He Once Feared

Junior Steven Adams came to the grim realization Friday while handing out flyers on the Breezeway that he had become the monster he once feared. Like many other students, he had previously been fearful of the lingering students on the Breezeway advertising their student organizations. Never did he once imagine that he would become one of them as well.

“I swear, I never meant for it to turn out this way,” explained Adams in between incessantly begging people to join his club. “I just got roped in one day and I can’t help but think everyone would have a great time here!”

Close friends of Adams recount the minute the change began. “It was as soon as he came back to the dorm with a pamphlet for the organization,” said scarred roommate James Post. “He kept asking me if I wanted to hear more about his club, even after I told him I had no time to join.”

At press time, the CAPS center has announced that they will begin group therapy sessions for all of those with friends and family affected by student organizations.