FAU Parking Police Aimless Now That They Can’t Haphazardly Give Out Tickets To Commuters
It has recently been reported that, now that classes are online, FAU Parking Police have been wandering around aimlessly now that they can’t haphazardly give…
Parking
FAU Parking Enforcement Officer Pisses On Car After Issuing Ticket
Sources confirmed Thursday that an FAU parking enforcement officer reportedly pissed on a car after sliding a citation underneath the windshield wiper. Witnesses reported the…
Spooky Halloween Prank: FAU Closes All Parking Except Lot 5
Inspired by their failed attempts to advertise the capacity and reliable shuttle service of Lot 5 due to its considerable distance from most buildings generally relevant…
Commuter Can’t Tell If Person Is Leaving Or Has Just Parked
Coming face to face with a pair of glaring red tail lights foretelling an uncertain future, FAU commuter student Claire Donovan’s search for campus parking…
Student Parks In Staff Lot To Impress Girl From Creative Writing Class
On Monday, FAU junior Alex Rey received a $250 parking ticket after he parked his car in the staff parking lot. “So there’s this really…
FAU To Solve Parking Crisis By Making Cars Illegal
FAU’s Parking and Transportation Services announced this morning that in an effort to solve the university’s lack of parking, all cars on campus have been…
4 Reasons This Pile Of Bricks Deserves A Parking Spot Over You
So, you slept through your alarm again? What’s worse, you remember that you’re all out of Keurig K-Cups and forgot to buy some last night….
FAU Turns to Watering Parking Garages in Hopes of Growing More Spaces
On Friday morning, sources reported gigantic sprinklers being deployed to water the most populated parking garages on campus in an effort to increase their vehicle…
Courageous Student Enters Abyss of Full Parking Garage Three Minutes Before Class
FAU senior Cody Hopkins faced imminent odds this Wednesday morning as he headed into the dark nothingness of Parking Garage #3. Although the ominous garage…
Study Reveals People Who Double Park Have Small Penis
A study conducted by the Miami Anatomy & Physiology Research Center has revealed that, whether he did it knowingly or subconsciously, there is a 96%…