We’ve all been there before. You match with someone great on Tinder but, of course, you’re a busy person. Without intending to, you’ve ghosted a Tinder match! Or maybe you did intend to. We won’t tell. Here are some tips on how to avoid that poor Tinder match on campus.
The oldest trick in the book is the avoidance strategy. You see that Tinder match, you book it in the other direction. If you run fast enough, maybe you can make it to class on time for once.
2. Hide In The Trash Cans
Become one with the campus raccoons and hide in the trash cans! No, you didn’t read that wrong. Not behind them. Inside of the trash cans. If you’re going to ghost someone, you’ve got to commit.
3. Pretend To Ask For Signatures On A Petition
There’s nothing that an FAU student fears more than being asked to sign a petition on the Breezeway. If you want that Tinder match to never even look in your direction out of fear, grab a clipboard and start shoving it in people’s faces.
4. Crawl Under A Breezeway Table
Let’s say you didn’t come prepared with a clipboard to blend in with the petitioners. No worries! Just quickly slide under one of those tables organizations sit at on the Breezeway. Nobody will want to talk to you if they think you’re trying to get them to join a club!
It’s been getting pretty humid outside these days. Doesn’t it just seem possible to slowly evaporate out of the realm of human existence? Next time you see that Tinder match, go ahead and give it a try!
6. Discover A Magic Lamp And Ask The Genie For The Ability To Disappear
What, you thought this just happened in the movies? Pick up that suspiciously old and ornate lamp on the sidewalk near the library and give it a try! Maybe you’ll even get tetanus from scratching your hand on the lamp and be able to skip class because you have to go to the hospital.
7. Girlboss, Gatekeep, And, Most Importantly, Gaslight
Get out there and be the girlboss you were destined to be. Who cares about hiding? Go confront that Tinder match and do some gaslighting. You ghosted them? No you didn’t. You’re gaslighting them right now? OF COURSE you’re not. You’re being a girlboss? Heck yeah you are, girlfriend.
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